Labour party conference, well done Alan!

It gives me great pleasure to write the first post in this ground breaking new blog; it is so special because it gives us, the politicians, a chance to be honest for once, with you, the electorate. It really has been a fantastic few days so far at the Labour party conference, the only let down has been that Neil Kinnock got in on the naked action with the pensioners instead of me. I do rather enjoy writing as opposed to speaking, it ensures that I can't get caught with my jaw hanging down around my ankles in between sentences.

One of the highlights of today was Alan Johnson's clever speech on health. I am quite amazed that many of you actually still fall for the same old New Labour clap trap, this time we're using the gimmick of the 'personal' NHS, it seems that we have run out of luck with the 'patient choice' gimmick, amazingly though it's working! The BBC seem happy enough to believe us, even though we have been destroying and privatising the NHS for the last ten years.

Alan told so many lies that I also burst out laughing, he said we'd be moving away from "top-down structural change" towards a "clinically led and locally driven"! Even Stalin didn't manage to create such a top down structure as we have at New Labour, the only driving down locally will be on the roads that we lay down from the centre. The 'deep clean' is also nothing more than a load of hot air, in reality we have helped spread bugs likes MRSA by cutting beds and forcing patients to be moved around between departments too quickly with our targets.

The biggest joke of all is that we are trying to privatise primary care by opening up loads of tacky walk in centres in Boots, it's a great way to make the Labour party money as loads of the companies who want a piece of the action are keen to donate to us. It will actually create a less personal and poorer quality service, but amazingly Alan managed to spin it as a more 'personal' service, excellent work indeed. The truth is that it is too expensive to pay for a decent health service, as we have wasted so much money elsewhere that there simply isn't enough to go around.

That's about it from me, I'm just grateful to you all for keeping the faith with New Labour even though we are dishonestly dismantling the NHS right in front of your eyes. It certainly will be more personal for you when you can't find a GP within ten miles because they are only located in supermarkets, or when you can't get to a hospital with your crushing chest pain because we've shut them all and replaced them with privately run portacabins. This is the NHS that we've been working towards for the last ten years, if this is what you want then please vote New Labour!