Election update

I have now decided that there will be no general election this year, some would say that I am a big choker, and they would probably be right. I have waited so long to become Prime Minister that I simply couldn't bear to lose my throne after such a short period in power.

Initially the plan was for an early election, however blue Dave really is a charismatic chap and his performance last week really showed me up to be the bland dullard that I am. I'd even got the election propaganda team up and running especially, and I'd brought forward the NHS interim review as well.

It will be very tricky to come back from this, as it has shown me in my true colours, as the desperate cowardly bottler that I am. I have very little spine indeed and will have to try to convince the public that I am a bold man of steel over the next year or two. Hopefully they will not judge me on the evidence of New Labour's record in power, hopefully I can pull the wool over their eyes with more dishonest platitudes and gimmicks.